Nick Denton's Brain Droppings

I fail to see the humour in this. Anyone who knows me can attest...

Fri, 23 Jan 2009 15:34:00 -0500

I fail to see the humour in this. Anyone who knows me can attest that when it comes to breakfast, I’m more of a French Toast man, served with porridge, kippers and devilled Panda kidneys on the side, naturally.

Boltlung Needs Help

Thu, 17 Jul 2008 14:14:00 -0400

from: Noah Robishon <noah@gawker> to: Nick Denton <nickguidodenton@gmail.com> subject:...

Since I’m over scrapbooking, this is what I do on slow...

Thu, 22 May 2008 18:21:00 -0400

Since I’m over scrapbooking, this is what I do on slow news days.

Boltlung, is Reilly off of his medications again? From:...

Wed, 21 May 2008 16:55:38 -0400

Boltlung, is Reilly off of his medications again?

From: reilly@gawker.com

To: [redacted]@gawker.com

Subject: Donuts on the kitchen table!

Hey guys,
I brought a bunch of donuts in for you all enjoy. Be sure to grab
some. There’s glazed (my personal favorite) and the regular kind with
chocolate frosting on top. Yes, they’re from Dunkin’ Donuts, but you
can’t expect some kid from western PA who moved out here in the Fall
to know where all the “New York donut shops” are now can you?
I am aware there are many Gawker people who don’t actually work out of
the NY office. Don’t worry, I thought of you out-of-towners (I always
think of everybody, that’s how my parents raised me).
Attached to this e-mail is a coupon for one free donut at my expense.
There are some rules, however.
1. This coupon is only valid for those who are unable to commute to
the office today, May 21, 2008.
2. I will not mail you the donut.
3. The maximum amount spent on the donut cannot exceed $2 (U.S.) including tax.
4. I will not give you the $2 instead
5. You must present the coupon in order to receive your donut.
6. You must attend the purchasing of your donut with me.
7. The donut DOES NOT have to be from Dunkin’ Dounts, but it must a
donut as defined by wikipedia.
8. This offer is good for ONE donut, not multiple, smaller donuts of
equal value.
9. All future and past Gawker employees are ineligible.

You’ll notice the coupon doesn’t expire until 2010. I initially
thought one year would suffice, but then I got to thinking that the
chances of me actually seeing most of you in a year is pretty slim.
So I extended it for another year. You have two years to claim your
donut. Print it out and stuff it in your wallet or purse.

So there, everyone should be happy.

Enjoy!
Jim

All the hard young literary dicks.

Wed, 21 May 2008 16:43:00 -0400

All the hard young literary dicks.

Emily and Josh Redux

Wed, 21 May 2008 11:06:35 -0400

Whenever I think about Emily and Josh, I try to remember a simpler time, a time when things...

Get Over It

Mon, 19 May 2008 12:25:28 -0400

Look, I’ve no plans to make Nick Douglas redundant despite the pleadings of this website....

“All my good reading, you might say, was done in the toilet....

Mon, 19 May 2008 12:18:34 -0400

“All my good reading, you might say, was done in the toilet. There are passages in Ulysses which can be read only in the toilet - if one wants to extract the full flavor of their content.” -Henry Miller

Holly Peterson is my Ulysses.

Desire

Mon, 19 May 2008 11:50:00 -0400

I’d get down on my hands and knees and crawl across a field of broken glass just to listen to...

The Official Richard Lawson Coming Out Party

Fri, 09 May 2008 13:30:10 -0400

I can’t think of a better way for Lolcait to come roaring out of the closet than by hosting...

Don’t be fooled by the tag. Scott Kidder is XL all the...

Fri, 09 May 2008 13:22:14 -0400

Don’t be fooled by the tag. Scott Kidder is XL all the way.

The Brain-Trust ConvenesNick: I do hereby call this meeting of...

Tue, 06 May 2008 13:14:00 -0400

The Brain-Trust Convenes

Nick: I do hereby call this meeting of the Knights Who Say Meme to order. Gaby will now do a roll-call for the minutes of the meeting.

Gaby: Nick Guido Denton?

Nick: Present.

Gaby: Boltlung Iron?

Boltlung: Yessum Miss Gaby.

Gaby: Chris Batty?

Chris: Hilfiger.

Gaby: What?

Chris: My shirt. You asked about my shirt, right? It’s by Tommy Hilfiger.

Gaby: Nevermind. Tom Plunkett?

Tom: AAAHHHGGG!

Nick: Tom, why are you hunched over the table looking like you might defecate in your knickers at any moment? Goddammit Boltlung, did you allow Tom to have lunch at Cafe Habana again today? You were given strict orders not to let that happen!

Boltlung: Well, I, I, I’m sorry boss! It’s just so close by, he can’t resist it.

Tom: AAAHHHGGG!

Chris: Oh dear God what is that smell? Is someone wearing Drakkar? That’s like, so last year.

Tom: AAAHHHGGG!

Nick: No you preppy twit! Plunkett’s going all Shatner in his pants!

Chris: Whatever bro. The fishtank now smells like the Jersey Shore on the 4th of July.

Boltlung: I begged him not to get black beans on his pulled pork sandwich boss, honest I did. I swear to it!

Tom: AAAHHHGGG!

Nick: Boltlung, get Plunkett cleaned up! Borrow one of Jim Lehnoff’s diapers and throw it on him. We’ve got to discuss the launch of my new girly Deadspin, LesBall

Chris: Dude, is this going to take much longer? Happy hour at Dorrian’s kicks off in ten minutes!

Calls For Making Tracie Egan and Nick Douglas Redundant

Mon, 05 May 2008 16:44:00 -0400

Many of the e-mails filling my inbox today are vehemently calling for the heads of Tracie Egan, for...

Can you smell what the Tart is cooking? Move in closer to your...

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:11:16 -0400

Can you smell what the Tart is cooking?

Move in closer to your monitor and scratch the image of Julia Allison and Randi Zuckerberg (Mark’s sister) on the screen so that you can catch a whiff of the putrid stench of calculation emanating off of Julia.

IM With Julia Allison

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 15:42:00 -0400

Julia Allison: OMG Nick I have a stalker! A blog stalker! Me: Yes. And? Julia Allison: Nick, how...

I have to hand it to you Boltlung—-recruiting Carrot Top...

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:12:00 -0400

I have to hand it to you Boltlung—-recruiting Carrot Top to join my Gawker bowling team was the most brilliant thing you’ve done in a long time. This almost makes up for the dingleberries and the time you accidentally forwarded the “glint of nastiness” memo to New York Magazine.

Nevermind Tionna

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:52:37 -0400

Al heard that I was looking for him and took appropriate measures. Your services are no longer...

They say that a nice, clean tie attracts the soup of the day....

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:38:00 -0400

They say that a nice, clean tie attracts the soup of the day. I’m hoping for man-chowder.

Another Day, Another Sloane Crosley Book Party

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:29:00 -0400

Do I really want to attend another Sloane Crosley circle jerk tonight? Do I really want to have to...

Goddamnit Boltlung!

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 17:04:21 -0400

How many times do I have to tell you that Charmin gives me dingleberries? Quilted Northern Boltlung,...